Appreciation Post.

Assalamualaikumwarahmatullahiwabarakatuh.
Epal dan Pisang sekalian.

Appreciation Dinner esok tapi dah ada Appreciation Post. Cehh~ HAHAHA.

Sebenarnya aku takde mood langsung 2-3 hari ni. Bukan apa, first thing is, aku memang exhausted macam apa lah kan, betul lah, kalau kita berhempas pulas harini, bukannya harini kita nak rasa penat tu, maybe 2-3 hari lepasnya baru rasa. Last week memang aku all out kan tenaga untuk settlekan theatre and drama kan. Even masa tu pun Wani dah tanya, "Mana mata kau Fieza?" Plus, mata ikan naik 6 biji sekaligus yang membuatkan mulut aku bengkak dan besar sebelah. Teruk kan? Memang teruk sampai aku tak boleh bercakap, even nak bukak mulut pun macam, sakit lahh gila. Time nak gosok gigi memang mencabar plus nak makan pun kena rasa betulbetul lapar baru boleh makan. Tu pun nafsu aku minta memacam. Mee Celup lah, Mee Kari la, Nasi Kerabu. Semua yang pedaspedas. Rasakan FiezaSudin. Rasakan kesakitannya. Tapi dah lapar kan, telan jela. And, this. Phone aku dah kena Sudden Death. Tak dapat contact Fieza kan? Takpe, FB, Insta dan Twitter masih ada. HewHew~ Dia macam ni, kalau rosak masa aku yang pegang, it's okay. Tapi... (fill in the blanks) Okaybai. Mungkin takdir dah tetapkan dia kena Sudden Death masa kat tangan orang lain.

Well. First thing first yeayy me and please congrats me 'cause I've done. I've done with everything. I mean, I'll not having any training and what not. But seriously, it's seriously true, "You gonna miss it." The struggle for me to project my voice, to make sure that it's my stomach voice. Like, I asked everyone who've joined Nasyid or whatsoever on how to make it. "Just press your stomach then." At least there's improvement. At least. Yes. Imma struggling to make my volume higher. That's my challenge. Trust me, it's frustrating enough when it comes to my turn and Producer will turned and sighed, "This terrible kid."

Aku tak pernah tau pun sebenarnya suara aku ni slow. I mean by using suara dalam. Kott lah. Sebab aku rasa cukuplah kalau aku bersembang tu dengar sampai bilik sebelah menyebelah. Tapi rupanya still slow. Yeahh~ Still slow untuk teater. Unless guna mic. HAHAHA. Aku ni memang zaman dulu kala lagi kott memang suara Auto je. Memang high pitch la. Tapi since aku kena sakit tekak sebab water cooler kat asrama dulu, terus hilang keyakinan nak start any Choir or whatever it is. Confident jatuh bergolek-golek. Bukan apa, takut suara tak masuk je. LOL alasan. Tapi since aku join teater ni, aku back to basic. Start from zero. Newcomer kann. Learn from everything yang aku dapat. Learn from what they told to other person.

Here's some of the pictures from our training..

The worst part for being me. Rasa macam apa je. Sebab aku memang zero bab characterization. And guess what? Aku tak tau nak goreng apa untuk character aku. Maybe for me that moment, my character is just a side, so naaa~ I don;t have to put more effort on it. And, yeahh! FiezaSudin totally wrong. Aku buat research kott. Bukak memacam website, YouTube, tanya orang yang pernah masuk teater. How to develop that. Dan aku dapat lah idea tu. I learnt something dude.

Ni trailer untuk teater kitorang. Goosebumps ke tak, I'm not so sure 'bout that. Sebab aku ni cerita seram pun aku tak rasa seram. Mana tah sense seram aku pergi. 

Hari Rabu kitorang ada Preview as well as Full Dress Rehearsal. Alumni AllNighter Production lah yang turun untuk tengok what's wrong. Then, dapat lah certain feedback yang buat Director tukar beberapa parts yang nak nampak the realistic of the story. Cehh Fieza~ Realistic bagai. HAHAHA. 

Ni scene aku. The one and only. HAHA.

Thanks for make-up. Tapi sumpa tak sesuai untuk orang nak tidur. Thanks God Preview je. HAHA. But it quite nice. For me at least, the one that never touch make-up. I mean, eyeliner, blusher, eye shadow even foundation. And also the lipstick colour. Terang gila.

Pity me, all the pictures.. Are gone. Handphone I.. :'(

Then, Khamis Jumaat tu off day lah kiranya since Director kata Preview tu kiranya dah habis baik dah. So, yeah aku tak off day jugak, sebab Jumaat tu Drama menanti. Oh yas! Mahallah kitorang dapat nombor 3 yoo~ Feel honoured sangat. Terasa segala penat lelah ni berbaloi. 

Jap nak selit sikit,

Masa ni Fedtri Yahya dah rush gila, sebab tu snap satu gambo je. Dahla terceruk aku. Heh~

Dia jadi juri untuk Final Pantun Inter-Mahallah.

Yeayyy we~ Look at our hap-py faces. So our Mahallah also win the 'Best Mahallah (sister)' Oh yeahhh~ Dengar khabo dah 4 tahun berturut-turut. Sayang pulak nak keluar dari Mahallah ni. Cukuplah kemenangan tersebut buat aku rasa penat aku ni bukan penat siasia.

Sabtu before Exists show tu memang ada final run through untuk sesuaikan diri dengan stage and all that semua.. But then, just like what I've mentioned in previous post, disebabkan berhujan and telan panadol, aku turun training lambat 1 jam 15 minit bersamaan dengan 750 ketuk ketampi yang aku harus lunaskan. So far tinggal 570 squats to go. Alaaa. Aku tengah tak sihat kott minggu ni. Nak qada' tidur lagi. Terlupa lagi. Humm.. HAHA. Alasan tak pisah~ Naisb makan panadol. Kalau tak, lagi collapsed masa training. 

So-called our last circle before the show. Masa ni Nyak memang emosi sangat. I cannot ahh. And frankly speaking during this session, I couldn't express and speak out what I wanna say.

I swear I love his assent.

Xavier, a leader.

But then, part paling teruk is Ayunie accident masa balik training petang tu. Rasa serabai gak lah sis yang langgar tu tak responsible. I mean, at least bawak lah pergi Klinik or what. Ni takat sorry je. Tapi, Alhamdulillah sebab Yunie still make it untuk show. Yeayy Yunie~ 

So, moving on to the night of show time. *drumsroll*

Live update ni masa tu. From backstage.

Nak sobsob sebab gambar sengsorang pun dalam phone. *menangis gigit bantal Strawberry*

Sekarang baru rasa berguna upload gambar, nanti kalau phone jadi apapa, at least ada backup. 

Sudahlahh Fieza. Tak payah nak menyesal sangatt~

Ni gegambar dari backstage.

Thanks props team. Ehh ada Belle kat situ. So, a big thanks to you, SM.

By the way, these are my most favourite scenes. I memorized all the lines. With emotion of course. HAHAHA. See. I learnt something.

And here we go, my scene.

Once I stepped back at the backstage, you'll never know how I feel. Macam segala beban tu terangkat secara automatik. Sumpa tak tipu. Dan secara jujurnya, aku punya nervous masa nak start play tu sampai tahap dah menangis dah. Aku rasa masa SPM nak ambil paper Prinsip Perakaunan dan certain sebab yang memang munasabah untuk aku nangis je aku akan nangis. Tapi that time tak tau kenapa menggedik nak nangis jugak. 

To producer, director, SMs, casts and crews, congrats. Break it down! LOL. "We won. We go back with happiness." -Quoted from Mr. Director.

Never know that this play is kinda 'pertandingan'.

Since this is an Appreciation Post,

Mr. Producer, thanks for giving me opportunity to be in this play. Like seriously, you're a man with different character since the first day I saw you during audition. You can be the nicest and the most bad guy ever. Thanks for all the tips, the comments, critiques and everything you've given. Absolutely, acting in theatre is not as simple as acting in front of camera. I really admit it. One that can act in front of camera doesn't mean that he can act in theatre but one who can act in theatre, definitely can in front of camera. Camera is better for me. I'm so sure. HAHA.

Yo Mr. Director, sorry if I'm not giving my best to this play. Well. Since this is your last theatre that you direct, I just wanna make sure you satisfied. But at least we won right? *keniytmata* Of course a big thanks for giving me at least a simple role to be carried. I learnt a lot. I swear I came to the audition with nothing, with no confident to speak in English at all. With nothing. Actually, I never thought that this is an English play. 'Cause I though Exists is the name of Production. But yeah, Syiffa is the one who encourage me that day. And I just come with hesitate. Without my Partner in crime, I don't think I can make it. By given a chance for the second audition, *thinking about the term but can't remember* doing the vocal and what not. Thanks again for believing me. Imma not hoping for a place as a cast actually since I look at all the people who come to the audition like... Pehhh~ Akku bak semut je sehh. So, just hoping that maybe I'll become one of the props crew but yes, thanks. SMs too. I'll take your advise to discover other production houses but still, I fall in love with this production. Love at the first sight maybe. 

Goshhh~ If only I have the courage to speak smoothly just how I type or write.. Nananana~

This is some of the points that I really wanna express that night but it stuck at my throat. Hummm. Alasan lagi. 

With Scarlet. 

Being a wife in this play is not a simple matter. 

Teringat masa jumpa Bapaknya kat CFS haritu, "Faza ni memang suka watak isteri-isteri kan?"

Previously kat CFS aku ada join gak, tapi sekadar biasabiasa tanpa vokal and so on sebab ada mic. Oh yeah, kat sini jugak aku dapat encouragement untuk join teater daripada Ammar. 

"Kalau kau rasa nak polish confident kau, join tetaer. Serious kau akan dapat. Aku ni dulu introvert tapi sekarang kalau kau suruh aku speech on the spot pun aku boleh." -Ammar, 2015

Bila director cakap, Yes. You kena jadi gedik. Tak kiralah even you tak gedik pun in real life. Dan kau tau apa hasilnya?

Bila habis play tu terus lah meluru kat membermember aku and selfie all that bagai. Paein bisik cakap, "Ada sister belakang kami ni kata, 'Gedik gila perempuan ni'" So, I'll take it as a compliment. Kiranya jadi lah kan? *angkat kening* HAHAHA. Malu jugak lah tapi, sekurang-kurangnya aku tau, aku dah lepas satu tahap yang apa yang aku nak tunjuk tu sampai. Tak payah sis tu sangat Paein dengan Sar pun kembang tekak dah. HAHA. 

Husna dengan Nani tak confirm balik dorang datang, kalau tak boleh reserved kan sekali seats dorang. By the way, thanks for coming guys.

Again. Since this post is an Appreciation Post.

Babe. From the deepest of my heart, thanks a lot for your support and all. Accompanying me for 2 night. Just because of the audition. Even though you're having so many things to be done. The assignment, study, this and that but yet you're willing to wait for me at the bench. You're totally boring and lost and everything that time but still there for me. Teaching me how to get the mood. How to enunciate, pronunciate and everything. How to read the lines. You're the first person who taught me. You're the reason for what I have now. What basic I know in theatre. It's all because of you babe. Thanks for everything. Patiently waiting for me to come back after training to settle up the assignment, to discuss this and that and even to eat together. Ehh~ Takde nak frienship goal. Geli pulak. HAHAHA. Kalau nak goal nanti kitorang main bola. You're amazed right how I can be 2 different character within 2 days? LOL. I'm facing headache, lack of sleep and somehow having crisis during my own training in the room. Because I need to spilt a different identity before saying the lines. It's better actually having your own training at 3 or 4 a.m. There's nobody awake at that moment. So you may do whatever you want without anyone asking, "What ya doing?"

And here we go, the last Exist is Fun ever.

There'll be a video release. Of course for those who're not coming. But I'll update later once it has released. Oh yeahh~ After that boleh PM aku kalau rasa mind-blown and tak dapat apa makna tersirat untuk setiap scene. I'll tell you. Taknak spoil kan lah pastinya. So, do ask me.

Anyway, Appreciation Post kan? Thanks Madir for sending me back to Mahallah. I mean us, First year students, Ray, Nyak.. Wehh, we're struggling with pre-reg kott. And I arrive safely in my room 00.00 sharp. Alhamdulillah, lepas add semua subjek. Takde yang bermasalah. Terpaksa korbankan masa untuk melepak and chatting with each other. Masalahnya dengan Madir terkait sekali. Pity him. HAHAHA. Thanks dude. And suddenly remember that moment when we saw the person who supposed to play as Torturer, and you said, "I've done better than her." LOL. HAHAHA.

Yas. Funny enough when our play name EXISTS but absence of T. We have Edward, Xavier, Isaac, Scarlet. Sabrina. But we don't have Thea. It's okay then.

Basically thanks for giving me this opportunity. Thanks for team mates, Nyak, Madir, Ray, Syiff, Niny, Yunie, Mifzal, Kayseer, Iwan for everything. Ajar cara nak project, pronounce, tone, and I mean everything. HAHA. The emotion that I should portray. The jokes that made my day. Moral support korang. Sangat aku appreciate. Hope to meet you all next time. At least before Niny and Shiff say babai. Yeah, they'll go to Pagoh since their Kuliyyah will be there. Yas.. UIA will be in Pagoh next year. 

*

Plan macam nak balik JB weekend ni. Doakan supaya dapat pulang. Ameen. Sebab study week maybe tak balik kott. HewHew~

Dan, tahniah untuk my sayang, Hidayah Amani for your e-day on 16th. Sorry dah janji nak datang tapi cancel last minute. ALLAH is the best planner right? Wahhh~ Kawan I bakal jadi isteri orangg. Waaaaaaa..